My son will be going into the 6th grade in September. Like me, he is Black.
I am hastily looking for the right junior high school for him to attend. A school that fits who he is. Danny is very creative. He spends most of his time taking old shoe boxes, jeans, water bottles, glue, and paint to create the most interesting messes. My son needs a school environment that’ll stimulate his inventiveness and style of learning; if not, he’ll be in deep trouble.
In The Trouble with Black Boys: The Role and Influence of Environmental and Cultural Factors on the Academic Performance of African American Males by Pedro A. Noguera, Ph. D, Professor in the Graduate School of Education at Harvard University states, “All of the most important quality of life indicators suggest that African American males are in deep trouble.”
Black men lead the nation in homicides, both as victims and perpetrators.
Black men have the fastest growing rate for suicide.
“For the last several years Black males have been contracting HIV and AIDS at a faster rate than any other segment of the population,” according to Noguera.
Black men incarceration, conviction, and arrest rates are at the top of the charts in most states.
“Even as babies, Black males have the highest probability of dying in the first year of life, and as they grow older they face the unfortunate reality of being the only group in the United States experiencing a decline in life expectancy.”
Noguera’s research points out that “in the labor market, Blacks are the least likely to be hired, and in many cities, the most likely to be unemployed.”
In my pursuit to preclude my son from these indicators, I found a private school I thought might be a good fit. So I scheduled a tour. I took the tour with a Caucasian husband and wife.
The school is beautiful. There is a full art studio. The paint from the students’ brushes smeared the tables; they look like masterpieces.
After the tour, the parents met separately with an admission counselor.
The counselor asked, “What’s Danny like? What are his weaknesses? His strengths?”
The counselor then proceeded to tell me about the admissions process. She got up from her seat and walked over to her desk. She reached for a piece of paper then handed it to me.
“The financial aid application is due in a week,” she said. “We’re strict about our financial aid deadline.”
I mused. Why did she presume I need financial aid? Was it because I was Black?
Did the Caucasian husband and wife who toured the school with me get the same talk and piece of paper?
Honestly, I was humiliated. I felt ashamed that I didn’t have the money to get my son the education he deserves.
Irrespective of what led her to believe I need financial aid, the truth is, I do.
The truth is: I need help so my son can raise above all the statistics waiting for him.
Wow Talia!!! How masterfully you have captured a complex experience! I have black boy and a black girl and have recently made the decision to pursue private education for them because I want them to have the best education possible. I want them to feel totally comfortable moving through the different spaces that make up their world. I want them to have access. I want them cultural samurais.
Talia, You are a wonderful mother for recognizing, respecting and admiring your wonderful son’s authentic strengths. Let’s rise–one family at a time.
Please make no assumptions about the financial aid form. Unless you are independently wealthy (i.e., personal assets in excess of $10M), the financial aid will be a huge help. Years ago, when our son was 8 (he is now just shy of 22), I made a different assumption–just as unfounded. His excellent third-grade teacher suggested that private school might allow him to flourish. I was indignant: Didn’t she know that we’d sunk every penny into buying a house in a town with great public schools? Didn’t she know that private schools are only for the independently wealthy? Well, she wouldn’t know about our financial situation, because I’d never shared it with her. AND I was dead wrong in the second case. Years later, a fellow hockey/soccer mom in the same town told me that her children had attended private schools because they were a good fit for them–and they’d been able to afford it through. . . financial aid.
If you would like to share a cup of coffee, it would be an honor to have a conversation with you. We’re both urban pioneers who want our children to have the opportunity to rise.
Hey Talia Rivera,
I am a public school teacher (Grade 5) and I had an opportunity to speak with Headmaster Jerry Ward at the Fenn School in Concord, MA and I was extremely elated at the programming and offerings there. I would check it out: http://www.fenn.org. There are other offerings in the Boston region such as Nativity Prep and the Fessden School as possibilities. I understand your plight in trying to find the right fit for a male child (especially one of color). I wish you and your family success in your search the best school for your son!